In the days since, Goodger has said she is going to have a post-mortem done on her baby daughter in order to find out what happened.
“They think her oxygen may have been restricted. That is why I am having an autopsy. I need to understand how she died for my own sanity. She looked like she was sleeping. I thought she’d wake up,” she said to The Sun this week.
“I went into hospital thinking I would come home with a baby girl but I came home with nothing. Lorena was a healthy baby, and it was a textbook pregnancy. They think her oxygen may have been restricted because she had two knots in her cord but normally babies can still get enough oxygen despite this…”
Saying this event has been “the most traumatic experience of my life,” Goodger said she hopes by sharing her story that she will make other women feel seen. And since Goodger’s interview with The Sun has been published, she has received many messages from mums who have gone through similar circumstance.
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“I want to talk about her death to help other parents out there going through this. I want them to know they aren’t alone.”
She also confirmed that her partner and Lorena’s dad Charlie was struggling too.
“Charlie was in pieces, he was screaming, ‘Please save my baby’. It was awful. I sat in my bloodied sheets for four hours. They asked me if I wanted to shower and I said yes, but I just couldn’t move. I just sat there in shock. That evening all of my family and Charlie’s family came to meet her. It was a very emotional evening, just tears and crying and crying. I stayed awake all night with her.”
She is now in the midst of planning a funeral for Lorena and sadly had to register her daughter’s birth and death in the same instance. Goodger has also been supported by Petals and Tommy’s, which is the UK’s largest baby loss charity.
“I’ve been inundated with messages from people. There have been people in the public eye who have messaged me privately, people I know who wouldn’t have said hello to me if I saw them. Their messages have helped me so much. I just hope my story helps other parents going through this to know that they are not alone.”
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You can download Never Forgotten: Stories of love, loss and healing after miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death for free here.
Feature Image: Instagram @laurengoodger.